Monday, March 29 (Day 18): Just about 7 years ago to this moment, my wife and I got the phone call that would change our lives forever. My son's birthmother (B) called to tell us she was going into labor. We jumped into our car and sped to the hospital in Elizabethtown. Just a little more than 13 hours later our son Matthew was born. We got to be in the delivery room and even got to cut the umbilical cord. It was an amazing experience. After an unsuccessful IVF treatment and 2 failed adoptions, finally we had our baby in our arms. The incredible happiness we experienced at that moment and the joy and love Matthew has brought to us during the past 7 years are result of the greatest gift of all, the courageous decision by his birthmother to give him up for adoption. I can't imagine what a difficult decision that had to be for her to make and stick with as she held Matthew in her arms 2 days after delivery. You see, in Kentucky she could have changed her mind at any point in the process (even after birth) up until the day when she appeared in court to sign away her parental rights. That day eventually happened about 30 days after he was born and we lived in fear of her changing her mind until it occurred. After holding him, feeding him, chaning him, bringing him home, having our family and friends see and hold him, I can't even imagine the devastation we would have felt if she had changed her mind. Thank God, she did not change her mind.
My gift today is to Matthew. I have written a letter to him to go into his memory box telling him how special his birthmother is and how much I admire the courage and strength she showed in putting him up for adoption. There are other things in his memory box about her, and I want this letter to be part of it. When the time is right, I want Matthew to know his birthmother or at least know about her. That is a tough emotion for an adoptive parent to reconcile b/c there is a part of you that is afraid for your adopted child to meet or get to know his/her birthparent(s).
But we owe so much of our happiness to her b/c of her decision and of all the people in the world that I want my son to get to know, it is people like her that have such incredible inner strength and conviction. Happy almost birthday Matthew and thank you B for being such a strong woman and giving us the greatest gift all.
- Jeff Hamilton
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